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Why a small detail causes the ‘Tony Hawk’ remake to fall apart



Again, I first played this game when I was nine years old, which means I got the same joy from landing sick combos as yelling at my best friend, “Bro, watch me like this guy hit a wall! ” With the new game, I feel like I’m just popping skateboarder-shaped pixels into wall-shaped pixels – and my wife doesn’t care at all when i yell at them to watch It’s still cool to some extent, but there’s nothing particularly crazy about bail or anything that flinches.

If the old games had twisted that Burnout 3 The thrill of seeing cars spin and explode in ways that you never really want to see in real life, but that you can still appreciate in a fleeting way. The remaster is the youngest Flight simulator Where instead of twisted metal you will get:

Xbox Game Studios
Ill.

Sure, it’s polished and mature, but … isn’t that supposed to be punk? What’s next? Characters forced to wear helmets and comply with their parents’ curfew at 9 p.m.? Fuck it all! I am a parent now. Let me literally not rebel against anyone in this little insignificant way!

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I’m scared that means they will never do anew Underground 2

Okay, let’s get to the real flesh of my heart here. By dressing and aging Tony HawkI’m afraid of the future of the show. Specifically what it means Tony Hawks underground Remakes.

I get it. The first Underground wasn’t great and in general the storylines and goals for anything past THPS3 are preeeettty stupid. But that shouldn’t stop how damn funny they were. Underground 2 is the best damn game in the whole series! Play now THPS1 + 2I can’t stop subconsciously trying to tap both bumpers to jump off my board in the middle of the combo and save myself from a nasty bail. Besides, I just want to light cannons while I’m dragging sick as Benjamin Franklin. Is that too much?

How else are children supposed to learn history?

If the older remakes continue to sell well, they will likely develop remastered versions of later games in the series. Still, I don’t want this lack of blood to herald a newfound focus, maturity, and professionalism in a series in which Bam Margera once again played a prominent role.

Look, I’m just as surprised as you are, Bam.

Is that sad maybe, but in these unprecedented times I can honestly say I need some Bam. Maybe we all need some bam.

Jordan Breeding created Cracked’s new YouTube series “Your brain is broken “ and is currently developing several more! He’s on too Twitter and wrote for a whole clutter of other sites.




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