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Wait – goblins are actually Italians?

We recently discovered that a crazy QAnon politician claimed that Beyonce was actually a white Italian who claimed to be black to cause racial unrest. Can you imagine anything more ridiculous? Beyonce, an icon that is irrevocably linked to a particular culture and has always been secretly Italian? I mean, who did he think Beyonce was – a goblin? Because these people are definitely Italians.

Pictured: Mario's early conceptual art.Jean-Noel LafarguePictured: Mario’s early conceptual art.

As it turns out, Ireland̵

7;s de facto mascot, the goblin, is not as typically Irish as was first thought. An academic group consisting of researchers from Queen’s University in Belfast and Pommy Bastards at Cambridge University has spent half a decade studying the etymologies of Irish words. They now believe that the word “goblin” probably has its roots, not on the Emerald Island, but in the Eternal City – ancient Rome. According to their study, the Irish have Labels comes from Latin lupercus, the name of both a Roman god who is responsible for protecting the flocks and his impish male cult members.

Why should a country proud to have resisted imperial influences throughout its existence look to Rome to name its most famous piece of folklore? Surprisingly, the Irish goblin and the Roman cult have something in common: water. Before they developed into rainbow riding, lucky charms guarding today’s green tricksters were leprechauns a kind of water fairy that was primarily associated with the oceans.

in the The saga of Fergus mac Leti, their earliest appearance in Irish literature, two water sprites the author mentions Luchorpain Try to pull the Ulster king into the sea, but the brave Fergus catches the sprites and releases them in return for three wishes – one of which is the ability to breathe and swim like a fish. The Lupercalia Festival (which some believe is the pagan forerunner of Valentine’s Day) had many rituals involving water and swimming. That included the laughing male members of the cult who beat up women with thongs and told them that it would make them more fertile – which sounds like a goblin game to me.

This in no way affects the Irishness of the goblin, it just proves that they are part of the classic European mythology, which is even more inbred than its royal houses. And hey, at least the Irish still have Saint Patrick as a piece of pure Irish beef. What are the chances that we will find out that this guy also has a Roman heritage? Oh.

Oh no.

Follow Cedric on Twitter to learn more chatter (which actually comes from the Latin “blarnium”).

Top picture: Wisegie via Flickr / Piotr Siedlecki via Public Domain Pictures

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