With a heaping dose of “Health and Safety Hypersensitivity”, any family outing or neighborhood party can turn into a boring, slow-moving hustle and bustle. This grill is too hot, keep the kids away. How deep is this pool? The popcorn is a choking hazard, enjoy a celery soup with your movie. Sometimes you have to live a little. Not with these products. The items listed below will burn, choke, or pop your eyes out in a second. Enjoy.
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10 Norodin AKA speed
Who doesn’t love meth? Many satisfied customers around the world use this magic bullet to get their “vim” and “oomph” before getting into the usual activities that people like. Robbery, prostitution, and declaring yourself the Messiah while naked in a public swimming pool.
In the past, people could actually buy methamphetamines legally. A branded version of the drug was Norodin, which was marketed to women who wanted to lose weight. Speed was everywhere. On PanAm flights in the 1940s, you could even buy an amphetamine inhaler along with a large scotch and the chicken set dinner. That’s exactly what you want on a long-haul flight across the pond – a meth head in the middle seat. Speed was popular until a number of high profile criminal cases around the world pointed to the abuse of these narcotics as a contributing factor. The business shifted from pharmacist control to your friendly, local drug queens, adding a touch of homely and rustic to meth.
9 Lots of stuff from the AC Gilbert Company
This company made some pretty cool toys. They also made some of the most dangerous “toys” a child could ever be unlucky enough to play with. Small cuts, slight scalds, choking hazards and crush injuries are very common in children’s toys and have always been. Radiation poisoning? AC Gilbert was a versatile inventor, but he really challenged the boat in innovative ways to seriously maim children.
The ‘Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab’ enabled your budding Einstein to play around with various uranium ores that generated gamma, alpha and beta radiation. Fun! Gilbert also made a kids ‘glass blower kit (presumably so they could get into the most disfiguring pea shooter game ever) and a chemistry kit that contained a bunch of sodium cyanide just in case lil’ Bobby Jr. wants to run away from the Russian agent next door. Or make yourself a really terrible milkshake.
8th 1920s hair removal
Waxing, shaving, epilation and laser treatments are the methods modern men and women use to remove those pesky stray hairs in problem areas. How did the ladies of the 1920s do it? X-rays. I don’t give a shit about you guys. X-rays.
The Tricho machines, which used to be relatively common in beauty salons in the United States, were machines that aimed X-rays at customers’ cheeks and upper lip. This would result in permanent hair removal after more than 15 treatments per year. And malignant carcinomas. Possibly death. Given that hair removal beauty treatments are becoming more common in men these days, you might be curious to see if this just might be dangerous for women in the 1920s. Amazing! – The march of progress, the scientific developments, am I right? Well sir, the next time you break your arm, DO NOT ask if the guy or girl in charge of the x-ray is taking care of your back, sack, and crack. You get rid of that hair, but you get a few tumors.
7th The Empire Little Lady stove
We’ve all read about the dangers of the once popular children’s easy-bake oven. With this popular mini oven, children could really play in the kitchen. But for every hundred or so nicely browned jam tarts, you end up getting burned (we’ve all been there. Damn spun sugar, it’s basically napalm). If you downsize and allow young children to do the same thing, ask for a trip to the cremation department with little Jinny or Jimmy. Imagine if your children’s toy oven could reach temperatures higher than your own large stove. That would be the Empire Little Lady Stove.
Modern stoves reach a temperature of around 550 degrees Fahrenheit before a mechanism clicks into place and turns the stove off so the house doesn’t burn down. These children’s toys could reach temperatures as high as 600 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s just hot enough to bake some nice chocolate chip cookies in 35 seconds. Ah, easier times.
6th The Zulu Blowgun Game
Zulu warriors used a wide variety of deadly weapons when going to war. No blowguns. For the makers of this wonderfully security-conscious game, that didn’t matter. Unsure and deaf, a match made in hell!
This crazy game included a blowgun, paper targets, and metal arrows. So a real weapon. This corresponds to handing over a charged Glock 17 to a child and without training as a “new shooting game”. You have it, child. Must learn Larp at some point.
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5 Incredibly flammable clothing
In the words of the famous doctor Dr. Nick Riviera: “Flammable means flammable? What a country! “Once you’ve got the definitions straight, you can venture out into the world and find that a wire wool jacket may not be the best piece of clothing for the 9v battery factory. In a world where candles and gas-powered flames are still used as a source of light Victorian ladies had a variety of incredibly easy-to-burn fabrics to choose from. Muslin, gauze, and all open-weave cotton fabrics for dresses were a bit like wearing a dress made of matchstick heads. One of the craziest fabrics was flannel.
The coroner for the city of Manchester, England, put it best when he was interviewed for a local newspaper in 1898:
He noted that he had conducted several investigations into children burned to death for playing with fire in one way or another. Mr Smelt said there had been seven such deaths to deal with in a week and he attributed the fact to the cold weather we had recently experienced. Children would approach fire to keep themselves warm; it was therefore up to the parents to watch them closely. You should also avoid clad them in flannel, which was almost as dangerous as gunpowder when in contact with fire. Still, these dresses looked pretty.
4th Roman blinds
Some of these entries seem to cover the danger to children. The toys will obviously be very kid-heavy, but window coverings? You better believe it. These fancier roller shutters are next to impossible to get in the US these days, at least with the traditional pull cords.
You may think this is a public safety rampage, maybe a crazy attempt to avoid lawsuits that get 1 or 2 kids frictionally burned or a gag in their eye. However, according to 2015 data, more than 200 child deaths could be attributed to pulling strings on window coverings. Huge retailers like Target and IKEA have now taken them off their shelves. Fair enough then.
3 Agen treated flour
White bread was fancy stuff until the advent of sourdough and malted tin bread with a honey glaze and mixed seeds. The whiter the bread, the better. As mass production and higher wages prevailed around the turn of the century, the demand for good bread skyrocketed. How could bakers make shiny, gleaming white loves that consumers wanted?
It’s all in the milling process. The whiter the flour, the whiter the bread. So they bleached the flour, artificially lightened the bread, and the process got better and better until you could buy bread that was whiter than Casper, the blemish of the friendly spirit. A chemical that was commonly used was nitrogen trichloride, or agen. In 1949 it was found that this process did not produce any flour that was safe for human consumption. Agen treated flour caused neurological disorders. How was that found out? Agen flour was also used to make dog biscuits, the dogs ate it and showed signs of hysteria. Hysterical dogs – always a dead giveaway that something is not quite right.
2 Samsung Galaxy Note 7
This phone launched in August 2016 and became the newest hot property from South Korean tech juggernaut Samsung. It caused an explosion of excitement for users … before any actual explosions due to faulty batteries.
First, the newly released Note 7s would be booming. Samsung announced to consumers that they could trade in their recently purchased faulty phones for a new, far less explosive one. The problem was, these new improved phones also tended to overheat and blow up. This resulted in Samsung pulling the plug. In addition to the many hundreds of disappointed consumers whose new devices were burned, Samsung also absorbed a little heat – with a loss of sales of around $ 17 billion. Ouch!
1 Every car before the 90s
When you look at past car accident photos (if you’re so inclined), one wonders why someone would buy a car back then. They were death machines.
Every petrol head, especially in the US, knows the infamous Ford Pinto (available from 1971 to 1980) with its ingenious design innovation – the fuel tank was right next to the bumper at the rear of the car, making even the slightest dent on the back of the Pinto a potentially explosive one Crash. What about even further back in time? Well, the amazing Briggs & Stratton Flyer, perhaps the cheapest ever, was essentially a go-kart made mostly of wood. It didn’t have any doors. No windshield. No security technology at all. Looks fun until you realize that the mere addition of a scarf to your driving attire pretty much guarantees you will lose your head.
Speaking of gruesome deaths from automobile accidents, here’s a fun fact for all classic car collectors. If you drive a car that was manufactured before 1968, the steering column will not fold. So what? If you get caught in a stitch, the waist belt (you probably don’t have a 3-point seat belt) will keep you from being impaled on the fixed steering column. Even popular, legendary vintage cars are incredibly unsafe. Say you feel a little like a Marty McFly and you buy a DeLorean. You’ll look damn cool … until a donkey takes you on and you dodge. You turn that around. Then you are buried in a metal sarcophagus and face certain death. Why? These cool seagull wings cannot open when the car is upside down. I bet you wish you had made out with your teenage mom instead … “Great Scott!”
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About the author: CJ Phillips is a storyteller, actor, and writer living in rural West Wales. He’s a bit obsessed with lists.