There are things that baby boomers seem to think, were, are, or will be cool. Unfortunately we have some news that we need to share with you. Those things have never been cool and never will be. Now that the bandaid is out, things move on and he finds better interests.
For some people, it’s hard to accept and they might get angry, which is okay. We’re going to leave the big things to the baby boomers, but they definitely won’t get a passport to the little things they still like today.
The only good thing about italics is its aesthetic appeal, otherwise it’s hopeless. It is a pain to learn and slower than normal writing. It may have had its place centuries ago, but in this day and age just let go of it.
Maybe break it out every now and then when you really need a birthday card to look your best. But do not think that you are going to send letters to anyone in italics. There’s no need for it with email, and no, we don’t want italics to die out. We just want it to be less overrated by any baby boomer who buys an expensive pretentious fountain pen – you know who you are.
China tableware is great. Imagine buying expensive plates so you can impress your friends, but then you never use things! We understand that it might be a little sad to eat on your own with expensive china, but it’s even worse never to use them.
Most of the time, you will forget that you ever had the expensive china until one day you move a heavy box and hear something break. Yes, that’s right, you just broke your china. Even so, you’d never use it anyway.
24 hour news networks
If you want to spread fake news, it is better to do so on 24 hour news networks. Don’t go to professional news outlets or shout it at all. Did you ever think of it
Let’s face it, there is only a tiny amount of news that happens in a day, and most of the things that news channels produce are outreach at best. Imagine having 24 hour news, there is no chance the world is this interesting!
You’ve heard the phrase “diamonds are a girl’s best friend”. When it comes to ridiculously expensive stones dug up by exploited people, where their bosses all make profits.
A cheaper and less morally gray option is cubic zirconia. It even comes in a variety of colors! Just don’t think you can wear it without getting a little ripped from your colleges.
Patterned wallpapers are a horror that many rooms have to endure. It’s almost always sticky, and it’s just too busy to look good at all. Why not just use a solid color for your wall?
And the trouble associated with it is something to see! Trying to glue it to the wall and make sure it’s sleek is a nightmare. Just don’t do it, please!
Isn’t it fun when you get an internship and it turns out to be unpaid? Baby boomers can justify it if they gain crucial experience instead. Well that’s fine and all, but it won’t pay my rent now, will it?
If you still believe in unpaid internships, I have no problem with you, it’s your opinion after all. Why don’t you go out and get one right away?
Crocs were originally boat shoes. Its conception was in 2002 and unfortunately it was more than just enthusiastic “boaters” who carried it. They spread like wildfire across America.
We will admit they are comfortable. They look easy to put on, they look pretty comfortable. But there’s one thing that kills any possibility that they will ever be a good shoe – they look terrible!
They call them “snowflakes” or something like that, since it doesn’t seem like a joke if you say something bad that almost makes them cry. Perhaps they disagreed with your way of thinking. Does that mean you should blame them?
Keep up the good work, never blame yourself, you can never be the problem, can you? It’s these millennials who are doing no good again!
Home shopping channels
Home shopping networks are the worst! They try to dress up, but whoever falls in love with them does not have my sympathy. They are all just a sham trying to trick you into buying trash that you have no use for.
These days, if you want something useless, there are so many more ways to get it than the TV. Don’t be naive, just turn off the shopping networks and you’ll be fine.
High waist jeans
So you like the look of high waisted jeans? Are you cute and making a comeback? No thanks! The rest of the world would prefer the “current” style and fashion.
The problem, even if conceived, is that high-waisted jeans cannot flatter anyone unless they’re unhealthily thin.
They literally just hold up the line when you write this out in the store. It’s so much easier to carry a small card instead of a heavy check.
And bonus points for those disgusting personalized checks. Nothing says class like paying for your colonoscopy with a check plastered on puppies and kittens.
You know, those phones with jacks that were plugged into the wall. Yes, you can basically get landlines free of charge at this point, but what is it about?
Just get a cell phone and stick with it. We promise you will be fine without them.
Oh yes, researching and implementing green, sustainable energy is such a waste. Why not just destroy the ozone beyond repair while we wage wars over oil?
Wind energy also gives birds cancer, which of course we cannot.
Shopping malls are just one type … fear inducing. Why go out when you can buy or return anything online and have it delivered straight to your door? It is easier.
Have you ever seen the miserable looks of men who don’t want to be there? We want our purchases not to be ruined by grumpy moods.
Khaki capri pants
These are not flattering. Please let this die.
Capris are pushing it the way it is, but when you throw khaki into the mix it’s really a travesty.
Denim is great, don’t get us wrong. But all big things come in moderation (but boomers usually don’t know much about either).
We don’t care if you’re the great-great-grandson of Levi Strauss yourself – a head-to-toe denim look is nowhere near as stylish as you think.
Jell-O can be pretty good, but pushing Jell-O with ham, cheese, tuna, and anything else you can think of is downright disgusting.
We don’t know what was going on in the 1970s and people thought everything had to be suspended in gelatin, but it sure does not. And it’s time we put this disgusting chapter behind us once and for all.
No baby boomer home is complete without a number of encyclopedias likely given them by door-to-door sellers.
Ultimately, with the rise of Google, encyclopedias are becoming obsolete and when you have them in your home it looks out of date and just takes up space.
Socks and sandals
Why baby boomers believe tall white socks and sandals are great choices for fashion we will never understand. In case you didn’t know, sandals are made so you don’t have to wear socks. Stop. You just look ridiculous.
That being said, if you wear socks because your bare feet look scary, why not throw away the sandals entirely and wear a nice, conservative sneaker instead?
Honestly, this is such a waste of paper. If you really need to get in touch with someone, you can probably find their number online or send them a message through Facebook or something else.
And where would you even find a phone book these days that you can use?
Nothing says “I’m still in the 60s” like a shaggy carpet. Shag carpet was such a mistake to be honest, it never looked and feels weird on your feet. I think younger generations will be happy to pass this trend on.
And don’t even make us keep it clean. You can also simply rent a snow groomer.
Another thing that looks really, really stupid. Just get a hat to keep the sun off your face. They make some pretty beautiful ones!
And when you’re bald, a visor will reveal your secret every time …
Fuzzy toilet seat covers
These things look as gross as any germs they collect. Not to mention their smell. Please do everyone a favor and remove these.
Everyone wants a luxurious experience when they go to the bathroom, but shaggy carpets on your bum are not the way to go.
These are actually making a big comeback in today’s generations, and vinyl records and turntables are now being sold in stores like Target and Walmart.
They may be old-fashioned and a little inconvenient, but we’re going to give them to the baby boomers. These were pretty cool.
Not so skinny jeans
For some reason, baby boomers loathe skinny jeans. (The only thing they don’t like anymore would be jeans with holes in them.) Instead, they keep rocking flared and bootcut jeans because “everything will come back in fashion at some point”.
And according to this logic, skinny jeans should be cool by now. It’s not like they’re anything new or revolutionary at this point.
It goes without saying that clothing will occasionally get wrinkled, but there are easier ways than wasting your time ironing. If it’s too bad just take it to the cleaners and let them handle it.
Or wear it wrinkled if it isn’t that bad. In the truest sense of the word, nobody cares anymore.
Bar of soap is coarse and much more tedious than liquid soap. We all know with the weak knees and hips of Baby Boomers that dropping the soap in the shower can lead to all sorts of problems. Maybe invest in a waterproof life alarm if you insist on saving bars of soap.
Or just switch to gel soap and you’re done.
As a baby boomer, you probably grew up eating meatloaf. Yes, there are some out there who still eat this, but a lot of people are kicking away from this relatively bland food. Not to mention that it looks gross.
And we’re not sure what the good of slicing it all into ketchup is, but that only makes it look less attractive than it already was.
Vests have never been cute. Patterned vests are downright gross.
It is wrong to judge people by what they wear, but we’ll look the other way when it comes to patterned vests.