Quick, why did Superman’s father send him to Earth of all places? The DC universe is full of inhabited planets, some of which are so similar to Krypton that they are likely to violate intergalactic copyright. Was it the resilience of the human mind? Our ability to create touching works of art? Our wonderful kitchen? No, the answer is … the glittering muscle men of the American grain belt.
<img alt = "Good thing he didn't go with Ar Kansas, or that might have been a shirtless Bill Clinton." Width = "350" height = "295" class = "lazy "data-src =" https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/7/5/5/735755_v1
In The Man of Steel # 1 of 1986, Super-Papa Jor-El shows Super-Mama Lara a typical inhabitant of the planet, to whom she will soon shoot her Super-Baby, and it is coincidental a half-naked Kansas farmer / bodybuilder who apparently always pretends to be secretly photographed by aliens. (Superman's mother is horrified and / or slightly aroused.) This is no accident, as Jor-El even calculated the missile's trajectory to land in a similar (or maybe even the same) Kansas field. So Jor-El's reasoning is obvious: he saw this guy, assumed that America was a nation full of perfectly shaped Adonises wearing cool hats, and thought, "Ah yes, my demigod will fit in perfectly here." He was wrong, of course – most Americans no longer wear hats. That being said, it is exactly right.
On the next page, Jor-El admits that there is a possibility that his son "rules" this planet like "a supreme being". It is clear that he imagined armies of manazons with glittering pectoral muscles that bowed to Kal-El, the tallest of the guys. In short, if an unusually jacked-up peasant hadn't decided one day to work on his tan, Superman might have landed on a broccoli-headed planet or something, and Earth would have been conquered ten times by Lex Luthor or Gorilla Grodd. All humanity is in your debt, hot peasant! We hope you thought about wearing sunscreen or that you are definitely dead by now.
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Top Image: DC Comics