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Orson Welles & # 39; greatest insults | Dental floss

Your relationship with Orson Welles probably depends on your age. For some, he is the pioneer director of Citizen Kane in 1941 . For others, Welles is the stocky, bearded speaker for Paul Masson wines. And for toy fans, he's the voice of Unicron, the sentient planet from 1986 Transformers: The Movie (it's about "toys that do terrible things together," he told a friend). [19659002] Apparently Welles could do anything from reinventing filmmaking to fighting Optimus Prime. But one thing the man seemed unable to do was tolerate insolence. Anyone who wasted Welles' time was subjected to a verbal tirade, and anyone who was below his talent standards was impaled on his words. Please enjoy some of his toughest defeats and comebacks, all aimed at those whom he considered contemptible ̵

1; even if, as in the case of his dog's farts, it was only marginal.

1. About Humphrey Bogart

“Well, Bogart, who was both a coward and a very bad fighter, always fought in nightclubs, knowing that the waiters would stop him. Make fearless comments to people … when he knew he was well covered by the bus boys. “

My lunch with Orson 2014

2. About Elizabeth Taylor

“She Has No Neck! Her shoulders come to her ears. And she is still young! Now look, imagine where her face will be when she's my age. You know, in her navel? “

My lunch with Orson 2014

3. Addressing visitors at his table who said it was nice to see him

"So nice to see you too, but that's enough."

My lunch with Orson 2014

4. On Coloring Films

"Don't let Ted Turner mess up my film with his crayons."

The Associated Press 1989

5. At the meeting with Adolf Hitler

"The world leader who, in my memory, really didn't lead to anything was Hitler … in the days when the Nazis were just a strange kind of minority party of nuts that nobody took seriously all of them .. the man next to me was Hitler. He didn't impress me so much that I can't remember a second. He had no personality at all. “

The Dick Cavett Show

6. About working on TV

“On my tombstone I would like to write: 'He never made love boat ! & # 39; "

The Los Angeles Times 2008

7. About Actors

“A few weeks ago I heard you say that you were once an actor. I am always sorry to hear that someone I admire was an actor. “

The Dick Cavett Show

8. About actors (again)

“I have always said that there are three genders: men, women and actors. And actors combine the worst qualities of the other two. “

My lunch with Orson 2014

9. When Robert Blake told him in The Tonight Show

that he was overweight. "You're right, I'm overweight. And if I wanted, I could lose weight. But Robert, you're ugly and I'm afraid nothing can be done about it. You get ugly until the day you die Be. "

Making films with Orson Welles 2011

10. When asked to exaggerate Paul Masson Wine's appeal for an ad by comparing it to a Stradivarius [19659003] "Come on, gentlemen, now really! You have a nice, pleasant little cheap wine here. You did not understand the presumption to compare it to a Stradivarius violin. It is hideous. "

Orson Welles & # 39; last film 2015

11. On Bette Davis

" I can't stand looking at Bette Davis, so I don't want to see her act. "

My lunch with Orson 2014

12. About his dog Kiki and her flatulence during lunch

" Oh, Kiki … she forgot herself. Ooh, yes – oooh! Isn't that terrible? This is a real … like nuclear warfare. Mmm, boy – that was one. “

My lunch with Orson 2014

Bonus: The only thing he couldn't criticize – It's a wonderful life [19659004] “ It's Norman Rockwell from start to finish . But you can't resist! There is no way to hate this film. “

My lunch with Orson 2014

Additional sources:
My lunch with Orson: Conversations between Henry Jaglom and Orson Welles .

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