Have you ever eaten fudge and thought, “Wow, this definitely needs more Velveeta?” Dear readers, today I have dessert for you. About three years ago I came across a recipe for something called cheese fudge, a chocolate treat that requires a pound of processed American cheese (also known as velveeta). This user posted on a Facebook group called “Sounds Midwestern but Ope, Okey Dokey”. “To say it came from their local church cookbook. The hideous recipe goes like this:
1 pound of American processed cheese
2 C. Butter
1 C. Cocoa
4 lbs. powdered sugar
1 C. chopped nuts
Melt cheese and butter together; take off the stove. Stir in cocoa and powdered sugar, stirring constantly. Mix in the nuts. Divide into two portions and pour into two 9
As a native of Illinois, I’ve seen a fair share of weird desserts my entire life. Watergate salad, which – considering it calls for pistachio pudding, cool whip, and mini marshmallows, among others – is definitely not a salad. The neon blue goodness of Blue Moon ice cream. Puppy Chow’s delicious, chocolaty peanut butter delicacy that was only meant to be eaten out of a plastic bag in the classroom after being bought by a kid who raised money for the track team. I have seen everything. But never in my life had I seen anything so bizarre and typical of the Midwest.
The questions went through my head. Chocolate and Velveeta? Why is a batch five pounds? Is it any good? I needed answers and decided to find them on my own.
After purchasing the ingredients (which required a visit to five different grocery stores to track down a single box of Velveeta), I combined half a pound of the processed American cheese (I cut the recipe in half as I still have some self-respect) with one Cup of butter on a water bath so as not to force my beautiful pot into a Velveeta-y sinking.