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Movie Studio expects James McAvoy to solve a crime in real time



They know what will be fun after the pandemic themed parties. With the entire art scene collapsing, it will never be cheaper to hire unemployed actors to run your haunted mansion or just to give an entire improvisation group some dust off their old one Murder on the Orient Express Costumes and host a crime party. What I’m saying is that it really isn’t necessary to spend millions of dollars to run James McAvoy through a citywide escape room and film him.

Always wanted to see a good actor doing bad improvisation? Well, in 2021, excited movie buffs will have to pay for the privilege of seeing James McAvoy walk through an entire detective film without having read the script – That’s just another way of saying we’re going to watch McAvoy play a live action RPG adventure. Based on the French film of the same name (ugh, you don’t hate it when they release a module twice), in my sonMcAvoy plays a level 16 actor who has to look through previous cast members with a full script. The adventure is pretty bad: his son has disappeared and he has to travel to his ex-wife’s small town to find out which bad guy to defeat to end the campaign.

Wikimedia Commons, Gage Skidmore
This is what a 20 Charisma Bard looks like.

As every dungeon master knows about single player adventures, the real flop risk here is of course not James McAvoy’s talent as an actor, but as a detective. And you’d think there would be some indulgence for the poor editor later, but according to the studio chairman, “James will do the detective work of the film in real time on camera to add real tension to this thriller.” . Real time. In front of the camera. Unless you’re a Colombo-level genius (and I’m talking about Peter Falk here) this feels like a recipe for the audience to scream warnings on-screen like they are the dumbest teen in the world in a slasher movie see from the 90s.

Because what if he’s really crap? What if James McAvoy is the guy they have to evacuate from an escape room because he threw an old gas lantern into an Egyptian carpet out of frustration for failing to solve the first puzzle? What if my son is only two hours from McAvoy, a rich actor fiddling with his blotchy GPS on a country road until he gets a call saying they fished his kid out of a nearby pond? (Actually, that sounds like a great movie.) I’m just saying that they really missed an opportunity by not casting Liam Neeson.

For more writing that reads like bad improvisation, you can follow Cedric Twitter.

Top picture: Gage Skidmore

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