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Harry Potter’s Professor McGonagall’s love life needs a movie

If there is one thing that Harry Potter The community can agree – and stepping into a fan fiction forum will tell you there aren’t many – that Hogwarts’ deputy headmistress is a catch. Brain, beauty, a withering look that can turn you into a puddle of remorse even if you haven’t done anything wrong: Professor McGonagall is the whole package.


Yet she lives such a lonely life that even her cat is herself. Not that it’s not an entirely valid lifestyle choice, but how did no one in the wizarding world manage to prevent it from happening? Well, when JK Rowling gets bored of suppressing trans people, she publishes an in-depth story of one of her characters There is a storyand this story is In love with a witch.

It’s a story as old as time: boy meets girl, girl is a witch, the girl’s etiquette book doesn’t cover exactly when that information should be revealed to a potential applicant, yadda yadda yadda, baby witch enforces that Problem. Young Minerva (or Minnie as she was hopefully called) seemed to have a great relationship with both of her parents. Even so, the tension in the McGonagall household was unmistakable when her father, a common reverend in pants, found out that not only had he married a witch, but that that fact condemned him to a life of secrecy. Nor was it much for Mrs. McGonagall, who had to dismount to play the dutiful woman, without even the amazing self-washing dishes to ease the load. Minerva swore never to let a man stop her from pursuing her magical ambitions, and then she almost let a man keep her from pursuing her magical ambitions.

All girls eventually become their mothers; it just happened a little earlier than usual for Minnie. Barely grown up when she fell in love with a local farmer’s muggle who “shared her sense of humor” and “argued violently” and otherwise exuded great cock energy, she found out firsthand how hard it was “This is how I can make shit fly”. Before she knew it, he proposed and she accepted. When the time came to tell her parents, however, she returned to reality and found that a job offer from the Ministry of Magic couldn’t stick with a man who was committed to farming in rural Scotland. It seems like someone unwilling to move mountains was never worthy of Minerva McGonagall, but they have actual laws against telling muggles about magic and following the law is pretty important to a prospective government employee, so it is not as if she could have easily invited him to London to do her wizarding job. She broke it off, never told him why, and never got over it, despite the relentless pursuit of one of her colleagues at the Ministry of Magic.

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