Time passes for all of us, and this miraculously includes the members of Guns N & # 39; Roses. Despite all the drugs, fights and roommates from mountain lions, the hard rock heroes have lived long enough to see themselves as lame geeks. From this perspective, a foray through children's literature may seem completely natural. We assure you that the Guns N & Roses children's book due to be released in the fall is even stranger than you'd expect.
First of all, it is co-written by James Patterson, of all things, because the time has finally come. Apparently he is running out of books to write. It is also based on the lyrics of Guns N & # 39; Roses song "Sweet Child O & # 39; Mine", which means that the old J-Pats will cut out his work for him when he hits the second verse where he can no longer hide that the song is not about a child at all, but about Axl Rose's girlfriend at the time, and shit becomes very strange.
But the book is also somehow in the real story of two young girls, the daughter and the niece of their manager, that flowed with the band. The parents of these girls are not under the spell, but a Guns N & # 39; Roses tour seems to be the absolute worst place for a child outside the jaws of a great white shark and definitely the last place where you can eat healthy food would find a children's book. What shit must these girls have seen ? Were they there when the police pulled Axl off the stage after beating a security guard? Or when the band's blind melon guy delivered pizza on stage, completely naked? Or when the band sparked riots in St. Louis AND Montreal? It's not a great bedtime story, we say.
Maybe the band just forgot what kind of hijinks they used to do. Nowadays, they are making self-ironic jokes in response to callers rather than taking them to the hospital. Axl Rose, a man whose violent outbreaks were once literally legendary, spends most of his time today (exactly) calling Steven Mnuchin an asshole on Twitter.
Like everything else that was cool in the early 90s, Guns N. & # 39; roses now fit right in the realm of the fathers.
Mannas Twitter was also much cooler in her twenties.
Upper picture: Geffen Records