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5 True Crimes That Had Total Bananas



5

A man was murdered in a dispute over alcohol … on a piece of floating ice in the middle of the ocean

In 1970, a local drunk named Porky broke into a trailer and stole a pitcher of gross alcohol. Well, old Porky was known in the area for stealing alcohol, sometimes on the knife date, but on that occasion he had gone too far. The angry owner grabbed his rifle and stormed into Porky’s trailer to retrieve the stolen hooch. He discovered that Porky was drinking Lightsy with his buddy Bennie. An argument soon broke out and Bennie was shot. Not too stereotypical, but you’d be listening to banjo music by now if we didn’t reveal the twist in the entry title, like the fools we are.

The twist was that the shooting took place at a scientific research station is on an ice floe swim in the Arctic Ocean.

The station has reportedly been studying climate patterns, but it sounds more like an experiment to see how far you can push a lab technician before snapping and trying to marry a seal. The 19 scientists and technicians were stationed on the floe in icy conditions for months, completely cut off from the outside world, and had nothing to do but drink and listen to the base’s two eight-track tapes. Since one of the tapes was Jefferson Airplane, they soon went insane. Porky, in particular, fell into complete alcoholism and began attacking other scientists with a meat cleaver in order to steal their alcohol. This all ended with researcher Mario Escamilla accidentally shooting his boss Bennie Lightsy while he was trying to get his Pruno mug.

5 True Crimes That Totally Messed Up Bananas - Fletcher Ice Island, a research base on a floating piece of ice known for a notorious murder

Mark Barsdell
This is the least bleak photo we could find of this place. There are two whole colors in this one!

But there was a second twist! Because the shooting occurred on an ice floe in international waters, it was technically impossible for any nation to prosecute Escamilla. There are laws that allow crime Ships Being prosecuted, but an iceberg is not a ship, no matter how many scientists vomited about it. But don’t build an ice boat just yet and experience a life in polar piracy (“Captain Cold” is already a trademark). As it turned out, the US could come up with a brilliant solution to the problem by simply ignoring it completely.

American law enforcement eventually gave up trying to find a loophole and simply sent a plane to the ice floe to catch Escamilla and bring him back to Virginia. The unusual circumstances resulted in the trial being technically illegal, but the issue was never resolved as it turned out that the rifle had a faulty trigger and the jury acquitted Escamilla on the grounds that he probably never intended to in the first place shoot. This convenient solution allowed anyone to ignore the problem again, at least until an astronaut gets space mad and we need to assemble an elite team of astro-cops to catch the Martian mangler.

4th

An Argentine television station had wrestlers kidnapped the Beatles … who turned out to be a group of American impersonators called “The Beetles”.

As early as 1964, the Beatles had just appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show and had become international superstars (in contrast to Ed Sullivan, who was immediately put to sleep by the CIA for promoting premarital hand-holding). It seemed like the whole world was going crazy for the three lovable scamps from Liverpool and their favorite hobgoblin, Ringo.




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